Title: You should let your mentee fail

URL: https://www.infobip.com/engineering/you-should-let-your-mentee-fail

I’ll never forget overhearing a conversation between a senior colleague and my mentee at the time.

The mentee was u003cstrongu003estruggling with a database erroru003c/strongu003e, and the senior colleague simply walked up, dictated the exact command to fix it, and said, “Now run it, and you're done.” u003cstrongu003eNo explanation, no contextu003c/strongu003e.

What did the mentee actually learn from that?

I didn’t even want to ask the obvious question: Is this the right approach? Hopefully, the answer is clear.

u003cstrongu003eOne of the best ways to learn is through failureu003c/strongu003e. As mentors, we need to give our mentees the space, and support, to do exactly that.

## Yes, a lot of things can go wrong

The example above may seem extreme, but how often does this actually happen?

A junior colleague gets stuck and can’t see a way forward, so u003cstrongu003eyou step in and finish the task for themu003c/strongu003e, just to “speed things up.”

You’re likely juggling a lot: customer requests are piling up, deadlines are looming, and it feels faster to just do it yourself. Letting mentees handle it might take longer, and yes, things could go wrong:

u003cliu003eThey could create u003cstrongu003eadditional issuesu003c/strongu003e, and then you're stuck fixing them, spending more time than you anticipated.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eIt could escalate to a u003cstrongu003epotential incidentu003c/strongu003e at the company level or with your customers.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eThey may u003cstrongu003eovercomplicate or oversimplify the solutionu003c/strongu003e.u003cbru003eu003cstrongu003eDeadlinesu003c/strongu003e can easily be missed.u003c/liu003e

## So, what can you do about it?

While those are valid concerns and could create additional work for you or the team, they’re also a natural part of the learning process - and u003cstrongu003ecan often be managed effectivelyu003c/strongu003e.

u003cliu003eAdditional time must be spent by senior colleagues to u003cstrongu003eeducate junior team membersu003c/strongu003e - and team leaders should recognize this and allocate time accordingly.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eYou should be able to u003cstrongu003eevaluate whether your mentee is ready to handle delicate tasksu003c/strongu003e in a high-impact environment. It's a great place to learn, but with high stakes, they may need more guidance.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eThis can be addressed by u003cstrongu003eperiodically reviewing their worku003c/strongu003e and helping them stay on the right track.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eAssigning tasks u003cstrongu003ewithout strict or short deadlinesu003c/strongu003e is another way to mitigate the risk. This doesn't mean you should let them take months to complete a simple task. But if they’re facing something entirely new, give them the space to experiment and learn from their mistakes.u003c/liu003e

## Please, don’t be a micromanager

There’s one thing you should definitely avoid when working with junior colleagues: u003cstrongu003emicromanagementu003c/strongu003e (trust me, I speak from experience).

I remember my manager at the time constantly looking over my shoulder, giving pointers after every action I took. It even got to the point where they'd complain about moving a graph on a report just a few pixels to the left or right.

Under those conditions, u003cstrongu003epeople have no freedom to be creative or make their own choicesu003c/strongu003e - and it creates unnecessary stress and frustration.

It’s far more gratifying to finish something on your own, even if it takes a few tries. You know you worked hard for it, and that effort brings a real sense of satisfaction and achievement.

## You can benefit from failure

Most of the DBAs I know have u003cstrongu003eat least one story where they messed up something big on a critical databaseu003c/strongu003e - like locking a 24/7 m-banking table in production in the middle of the day, deleting a configuration database that the whole company uses, wiping client access privileges from a critical database, etc.

Those experiences are pretty frustrating and even traumatic - but you know what else they do? They give you a stepping stone for professional growth.

Also, fostering a u003cstrongu003eno-blame cultureu003c/strongu003e inside the company is a great benefit. It puts the emphasis on everyone getting better and learning from those mistakes, instead of assigning blame.

Usually, all these mistakes lead to significant benefits for both junior and senior colleagues alike:

u003cliu003eHelps you gain u003cstrongu003ehands-on experienceu003c/strongu003e, accelerating your learning.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eFosters a u003cstrongu003eproblem-solving mindsetu003c/strongu003e rather than simply following instructions.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eu003cstrongu003eEncourages taking initiativeu003c/strongu003e instead of waiting for instructions.u003c/liu003e

## Nothing compares to hands-on experience

Most of us in our early years have likely attended at least one knowledge-sharing session where someone demonstrated how to do something, only for you to have u003cstrongu003eno opportunity to try it on your ownu003c/strongu003e for a while.

A few months later, you’ve forgotten most of what you saw and find yourself u003cstrongu003easking the same questions againu003c/strongu003e, which can feel frustrating.

One solution could be to take detailed notes, record the process, or rely on good documentation.

However, the most effective way to truly learn something new and gain real experience is to u003cstrongu003etry it yourselfu003c/strongu003e, stumble through mistakes, and eventually have the process etched into your memory.

From my experience, here are the key takeaways you should keep in mind:

u003cliu003eu003cstrongu003eAllow your mentee to take the lead on tasksu003c/strongu003e u003cstrongu003eand decisionsu003c/strongu003e, even if you foresee potential mistakes.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eu003cstrongu003eBe available for guidanceu003c/strongu003e, but avoid micromanaging. Offer support when requested, but let them face challenges on their own.u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eu003cstrongu003eFoster a growth mindsetu003c/strongu003e by asking, u0022What did you learn from this?u0022 rather than saying, u0022That was wrong.u0022u003c/liu003e